Letter to Ansh — 4

Dear Ansh

It is a Monday today, the 28th of January. Yet it was a holiday. Today we observe Australia day, it was on 26th of January but that fell on a Saturday. So in order to ensure we do not miss out on a holiday, they are observing it today which is a Monday. Cracks me up all the time, and I regret missing out on a day where productive business can be conducted but I am sure a large number of people would relish the opportunity for some extended time off.

Today your Mom bought you an umbrella to play with, she tells me you were so excited to play with it and you have been going around telling everyone in your sweet little voice, “Umbella, Umbella”! I miss your voice so much and I can’t wait for you to come back here.

You also love the Reindeer toy. It is a soft toy reindeer head on top of a stick. It plays the Rudolf the red nose reindeer carol when you press its antlers, but it is now almost out of battery and there seems to be no way of replacing the batteries. It is still lovely and I can see why you enjoy it and ask for it saying, Reindeer Reindeer!

You also loved your Teddy and absolutely loved eating its nose. Its funny, absolutely charmin and adorable but also not very hygienic. Good thing you dropped that habit.

You are enjoying your time with your maternal grandparents, your mum says you are becoming a pucca gujju boy. She is from the state of Gujarat in India while I am from Maharashtra. They are adjoining neighbours but in India each state is not like the ones we have here in Australia. Once you enter another state you might as well have entered another country. The language is different, the clothing, the culture and customs are all different. India is not really one nation, but rather one state comprising of many nations. It is only a miracle that it has somehow held together.

You are half marathi, half gujarati. And you will likely spend bulk of your life in Australia, a western developed nation. At some point in your life you are bound to face the question of who I am, where do i belong? You will have to answer that question for yourself. But I can give you some pointers.

We do not get to choose where we are born and to whom we are born. I did not submit an application to God asking me to be a Marathi person. Your mum says she is proud to be a Gujju, but she did nothing extra to be one either. So a pride in identity based on simply where you are born does not make a lot of sense.

In olden days when rule of law was not really strong, and this is still the case in countries like India, being in a group meant security. If you banded together with your family and community you were less likely to be bullied. So people naturally formed groups and saw their identity as part of that group. The problem with this approach is that it is a zero sum game. The world becomes a finite set of resources which the groups try to conquer. Ones gain only comes as the result of the others loss. Such systems become close minded and invariably ossify.

The west on the other hand is not a system based on blood ties, but rather it is an idea. The idea that everyone is equal before the rule of law, and this law is fair and not autocratic. We are fortunate enough that we can take refuge in institutions and predictable rules rather than have to take shelter in ethnic ghettos.

Embrace the culture and festivities of India, being with family and friends brings joy to the heart. But know that you are not going to be slotted in any one box. You will make your own world in your own image. When you have to, always choose the side of freedom, as in the long run it gives you the best chance of self actualization. For becoming the best version of who you are is what life is all about.

Your loving father

Moresh